Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
