I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
