You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
