So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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