Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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