Dude my mom stole all your condoms
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
