she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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