its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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