Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
