Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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