You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
