margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Shame is for Republicans.
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