I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Every concussion has its silver lining
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
