I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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