I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
