upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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