Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just had sex on a roof
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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