i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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