My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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