lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
only if we run a train.
done.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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