she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
