I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
