Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
