Don't you send me to vm
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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