you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
