is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he was CRYING into my vagina
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
