did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
