Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules

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(818): View more from California

Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.

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(925): View more from California

I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

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(310): View more from California

A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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(425): View more from Washington

Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.

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(706): View more from Georgia

My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

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