Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
