a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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