Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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