his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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