Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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