so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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