it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
