Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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