This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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