I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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