don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize