I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
