When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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