"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
