If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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