The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
