I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
