thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize