I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
