These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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