So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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