How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
