Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize