I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
