I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize