Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize