no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize