no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
