This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
