what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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